14
Aug
10

‘the talk’

Last month I was blessed by visiting with my dear friend from Houston, Marisa.  She is a pastor’s wife from our old church in Katy, Kingsland Baptist.  I always love talking with her because of her passion for the Lord and her spunky tell-it-like-it-is attitude!  She has a 6 1/2 year old son and one of the things she told me that night was, “I just had the sex talk with K.” 

Whoa.

I knew that sending Rilyn to public school, I would have to do ‘the talk’ sooner rather than later, but THIS early?!?  And her son is homeschooled!  So, naturally, I wanted to hear all about  ‘the talk’ with her son. 

When I got home from coffee that night I talked with James and we really felt that God used Marisa as a vessel to remind us “now is the time.”  I had already heard stories of moms telling me their kids had heard about sex during playground conversations at public school in first grade so I did have it in the back of my mind that we should prepare Rilyn. 

 There are these awesome books out there, called God’s Design for Sex series (4 books) that Marisa used.  The first book you read to your child is written for children ages 3-5!!!  Then the second book you read from ages 5-8, third book age 8-11, and fourth book age 11-14 years.  We bought books 1 and 2.  I love the forward in these books, “Why start early? (teaching your kids about sex)  Because if you as the parent are not teaching your kids about sexuality, they are learning distorted lessons about it from television, the Internet, and playground conversations.  If you stand silent on sex while the rest of the world is abuzz about it, kids come to the conclusion that you cannot help them in this key area.  If you start now in teaching godly, truthful, tactful, and appropriate lessons about sexuality, your children will trust you more and see you as a mother or father who tells the truth!”   Wow.

The first book is entitled, The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones.  The second book is called Before I was Born.  The first book discusses the growth of a child inside a mother’s body and the birth process.  The second book discusses the growth and change as boys and girls become men and women and a tactful but direct explanation of sexual intercourse between a husband and wife. 

So today, I took Rilyn for the day shopping and out to lunch for a mother/daughter date and we had ‘the talk’.  I read to her both books.  The second book is way more graphic in detail than the first and honestly, it was hard to read to my baby girl.  ‘The talk’ went well.  She didn’t ask too many questions, so I plan on reading it to her again next year and the next…She did at one point cover her ears and when I asked why, she said “Because you are about to talk about privates.”  (She saw the picture.)   We talked about that everything I was reading to her is only to be discussed between mommy, daddy and her (or her doctor) and that’s it.  One day she can talk to her husband about it.  😉  We also talked about if she hears things at school, she can always tell me. 

I feel at peace with today knowing that God means for Christian parents to be the primary sex educators of their children.  And first messages are most powerful; why wait until your child hears the wrong thing and then try to correct the misunderstanding?  Sexuality is a beautiful gift; why not present it to your children the way God intended?  Why not establish yourself as the trusted expert to whom your children can turn to find out God’s truth about sexuality?

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7 Responses to “‘the talk’”


  1. August 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Oh Lord…..not yet! Thanks for the book recommendations.

  2. 2 Kristy
    August 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I have so much to learn from you! We will be talking about getting those books to have in our collection! Thanks for being so open about your journey with your family:)

  3. 3 Marisa
    August 23, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Good! I’m so glad the boys feel comfortable coming to us for such things. And the questions are always great entertainment! The Lord uses us in crazy ways, huh?! Ha ha!


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